Recently Mother opened a bag of your cat food (the indignity) and out fell a cat trading card. I don't think I need to tell you what a waste of cardstock THAT was. Who cares what Fluffy's favorite ratty toy is, or where his favorite place is to yak up a hairball. I've smelled that box, and let me tell you a cat is NOT worthy of adoration. Not.
I have graciously decided to create a new card for you, one that no one will every trade away. Behold.
I'm sure we can all agree this is an improvement. And to show how magnanimous I can be, I even created a card for Cricket.
You're welcome.
Signed,
Serafina
