I have a routine in the morning. Same thing, every day. But when I'm wearing jammies Mother feels compelled to create a photo documentary. She is mental.
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| First things first. Look for low hangin' squirrel. |
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| WTF? I thought I heard the sound of rodent feet! No? Okay. |
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Survey entire domain... I can see the neighbor's back fence from here. No skymeat.
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Watch Cricket carefully for signs of independent thought, or joy.
You have to squash that immediately.
Purposeful trotting. Very important to look busy.
Lets everyone know you're on top of things... so they won't step out of line.
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Stretch... show backside to Mother, to indicate disdain.
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| Pretend not to hear giggling from Parent Who Shall Not Be Named. |
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| Snuffle grass. Seriously consider eating some so I can vomit it up later in the house. |
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| A MOMENT? MOTHER??? |
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| Unbelievable. I'm going to find that zoom button and chew it off. |
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| Retreat back to the safety and dignity of the deck. One last check of the fenceline. |
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Mother, one wishes to point out that you're in a fluffy white robe with bed hair and halitosis.
I look FAR better than you. Now fetch me my breakfast.
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