A Charlie Brown Christmas
A bunch of unsupervised children worship the ugliest tree ever.
I rate it 2 Dead Stuffies.
Elf
A grown man is raised on a diet of candy and sugar.
Against all odds he doesn't die of diabetes in childhood and goes on to save Christmas.
3 Dead Stuffies.
Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
Santa's Elves will not be selling out at Madison Square Garden, I guarantee that.
What a horrible band idea, anyway.
And doesn't that effeminate elf know that dentists have a high suicide rate?
Very confusing story. 1 Dead Stuffy.
A Christmas Story
Gratuitous Bunny Pajamas, and something about a porno lamp.
The dogs get the turkey in the end. 4 Dead Stuffies.
Babes In Toyland
Speaking of porn, this is not. Which is surprising, based on the title.
I didn't watch it. Zero Dead Stuffies.
The Santa Clause
Claus with an E added. Hilarity ensues.
Well, the Tool Man in a fat suit ensues. Also, ugly sweaters.
2 Dead Stuffies.
Frosty the Snowman
A talking snowman thinks its everyone's birthday. Stoopid.
1 Dead Stuffy.
Olive the Other Reindeer
I couldn't get past the idea that this dog wanted a JOB. At the NORTH POLE.
I want to put on a sweater just thinking about it.
0.5 Dead Stuffies.
Scrooged
I could watch Carol Kane smacking that guy around all day.
4 Dead Stuffies.
It's A Wonderful Life
Suicide is bad, kids.
2 Dead Stuffies.
Barbie Nutcracker
WTF???
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
EXCELLENT film, until they decided to pussify the green dude at the end.
4 Dead Stuffies.
Die Hard
Terrorists, explosions, bare feet on broken glass.
Best Christmas movie ever. Yippee ki-yay.
5 Dead Stuffies.
Happy Holidays, people.
Signed,
Serafina