I have recently discovered a document that was sent to Mother regarding my ancestry. Before I discuss my pending lawsuit for defamation of character, fraud, and assorted damages, Let's take a look at Exhibit A.
What is this "mixed breed" of which you speak? And what is this talk of crosses and mixes? And crosses crossed with mixes? I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW MY PEDIGREE IS IMPECCABLE.
Now.... Exhibit B.
CLEARLY YOUR MACHINERY IS FAULTY. This is not acceptable. Not acceptable AT ALL.
I have corrected your mistakes. You, as they say, are welcome.
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| Great Grandparents |
Granted, the griffin is a mythical creature... but I don't think I'm mistaken about this.
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| Grandparents |
No questions? Excellent. Moving right along...
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| Parents |
I might have used a bit of wishful thinking about my mother here... possibly.
But I'm spot on about daddy.
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| To sum up
Now.. about your page 2. I am giving you the most likely matches, based on certain feedback I have received.
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Watch your mail for a letter from my attorney, DNA shysters.
Signed,
Serafina
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha! I would not be even a little surprised if all of this turned out to be true! Tell Cricket I'm sorry!
ReplyDeleteBunny
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
ReplyDelete"The DNA Man" = BESMIRCHER!
Once again, you have shown "The Man" what for, Serafina!
*tries to form fist with tiny raised paw... gives up... gets beer, opens bottle with teeth*
You GO, girl! CHEERS and WELL DONE!
-Roo
Hmm. I think I'll give you Joan Crawford as an ancestor. The rest are sketchy. MAYBE Wolverine ...
ReplyDeleteLard Tundrin Jaysus! From da Rock den? Where ya at bye?
ReplyDeleteI thinks you is so smart to figure dis out!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh Fina. You are so perfectly amazing. I can't see how any of your ideas/fixes could be any different. You go and tell them who is boss.
ReplyDeleteHoney Badger and House. Most definitely. Oh. And Satan.
ReplyDelete