Let My Monkey Go

Labradoodle "Cousin",

I don't know who you think you are. I don't know what you want, but I would recommend a bath and a good trimming. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for dogs like you. If you let my orange monkey go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. 

Or hump you. I haven't decided.

Signed, 
Serafina