Line Up, Gentlemen

Suitors,

Your best and (for most of you) only chance at me is coming up in two weeks.
Dazzle me with your best offer. *taps dewclaws impatiently*

In the meantime, my Valentine's cards for you. Yes.... you.

Signed,

Serafina 

It's Like the Lambada

Uh... how long have you been standing there?

Don't judge.

I love you, Teddy.

I can still see you there, Mother. MOVE ALONG.

Signed,

Serafina

New Year's Mocking Eve

It's my first New Year's Eve in civilized society and when I heard Mother and I would be going somewhere without the drooling BOYS I knew it would be a night to remember.

Glamorous outfit, check. Jewelry, check.

I assume there will be desert bred Saluki gentlemen in attendance?

Perhaps, if my dance card is not full, a greyhound will do in a pinch.

Off to the car we went. I felt Mother was dressed a bit casually, but she really has no fashion sense. Let it be known that I did not throw up in the car. LIKE A LADY. And when we arrived at our destination...

NYE with my COUSINS?

"Cosby Sweater" and "Crispy Beard".

Where is the bar???

No music, no dancing, no toasts to my beauty... what is wrong with you people?

Cousin Molesting Alert!
WHERE IS CHRIS HANSEN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

Mother, this is not acceptable.

(this is me venting my displeasure)

I should have known something was amiss when you put on your Crocs for the drive over.

I did counter surf this salami encrusted with Herbs de Provence. 

At least the food was acceptable.

Home by 11. 

I expect a better plan in place for next year, Mother.

Signed,

Serafina